


Something of My Own

by booksandtea15



Category: Assassin's Creed Odyssey
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feelings Realization, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 12:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19020268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booksandtea15/pseuds/booksandtea15
Summary: Kassandra was well aware that none of her admirers really wanted her.





	Something of My Own

Kassandra wouldn't admit it even if the gods themselves asked her, but before Alkibiades announced his marriage, she had been carrying a small flame of hope in her chest.

It was only very small though, and it was easy (ish) to ignore the burn when she saw Alkibiades go into raptures about his new wife, even considering the way his wife to be apparently thought of him.

It was a small flame, a negligible flame, one that didn't keep Kassandra from pursuing her own pleasures even a little bit, but one that did scorch her. Most of the time she didn’t feel that, didn’t think about the dull pain in her chest even a little bit (considering all the pain she was usually in), except late at night, when she was waiting for a mark to show up, or if she had spent the whole day ensuring two people ended up together… and she was alone.

Still alone. So alone.

It was by choice, she knew. Well, part of it, anyway. She could have all the warm bodies she wanted. She knew what she looked like, knew that men and women alike found her pleasing to the eye, found her desirable,  _ wanted _ her. But, they didn’t want… her.

They wanted her dangerous appeal, they wanted the way her dark skin moved around well-sculpted muscles, her witty one-liners. They did  _ not _ want the way her hands shook after each mission. They did not want the way she woke up at night, daggers ready in her hands, a yell in her throat. They did not want the days she curled up in a corner, eyes dark and empty, feeling so  _ blank _ she was scared that, if she even moved her little finger, she would shake apart and lose herself completely.

Though, to be fair, no one wanted that.

No one… but Alkibiades had seemed… okay with it.

The first time they spent the night together, nothing had happened. Well, not  _ nothing _ , but nothing that was not expected of Kassandra, Eagle Bearer, Misthios etc.

And then there was the second time. And then the third time…

She woke up in the middle of the night. She was not okay. She was  _ not okay _ . There were, there were  _ men _ , grinning and laughing, bloodstained weapons held up threateningly, coming closer, closer… And she was alone. She was alone against all those men. She knew how to fight, knew how to defend, knew that now, she could kill all of them within minutes, without breaking a sweat. But she was young, then, inexperienced, caught in one of Markos’ schemes gone wrong,  _ alone-- _

“Kassandra.” There was a soft voice at her shoulder, a gentle hand reaching up to rest tentatively on her shoulder. A warm hand. A soft hand. A hand with fingers that had--

With a start, Kassandra recalled where she was, what had happened, how she had ended up there. She was safe. She was safe, with Alkibiades, and she had just woken up and.

“Sorry.” Her voice was whisper-soft, hoarse, and she cleared her throat, repeating in a stronger, clearer voice. “Sorry. Just, you know.” She shrugged, forcing a rough chuckle out of her mouth. “Just a dream.” She lowered her head into her hands, loose hair falling around her to cover her shaking hands. “I’m fine.”

A soft kiss landed on the exposed skin on her shoulder. Then another, closer to her neck, then, after a shuffle, a firm kiss on the top of her head. “That, you surely are.” His voice was joking, giving her an easy way out, but his hands were comforting, warm weights on her shoulders, sliding down her arms, then up again, enfolding her, reminding her that she was  _ not alone _ .

They didn’t discuss it again afterwards, and the next time it happened, which it did, because apparently Kassandra’s body had decided Alkibiades was safe, that he could protect her, for all that her thigh was almost twice the size of his. He simply took her in his arms, whispering softly and sweetly and never treating her any differently, never looking at her as if she would break at the smallest touch, kept sending her on more and more ridiculous missions with more and more ridiculous excuses.

It was a stupid thing.

She  _ knew _ he had other lovers, was as free with his love as she was with her services, (and her body, if she was being honest), but there was still that small flame, still that small hope in her that she was… special. That she was… different.

That, although he flirted and smiled with everything on two legs, the winks and caresses sent her way was… special.

And then he got married. And his face was so lit up from the thought of his wife-to-be, was so excited about it he resembled a love-struck teenage fool. Something he had never seemed with Kassandra.

He said they could keep their little dalliance going, that neither he nor his wife minded, and if it  _ had _ only been that for Kassandra, if she really only regarded him with a sort of exasperated fondness, she would have taken him up on his offer. After all, he was handsome, and  _ very _ good in bed, and even his wife had said she did not mind.

But, of course, Kassandra’s broken, twisted kernel of a heart had decided that this was hers. That this lively flirt of a man was deserving of her love.

And, and maybe that flame was not quite so small. And maybe it burned quite a bit, and maybe, when she saw Alkibiades at the Olympics, she had to bite her tongue viciously to keep her smile from sliding off her face like water from a duck’s back. And maybe, when he fell over, fear in his eyes for the first time since she’d known him, poison coursing through him, she had felt rage and fear so quick and choking up her throat that she had  _ ran _ .

She had ran, killing the Cult member that had dared to harm what was hers, Olympic truce be damned. She had ran, plowing through man and animal alike as she raced against time for the antidote, only to arrive back at Alkibiades’ side to see him pale and shaking, poor Barnabas doing his best to defend them from the soldier attacking them.

She had seen red, then, all the fierce, unrequited love that she been carrying around inside her for so long, that she had shoved and pushed and bullied away at numerous times, bubbling up inside her, choking her, only letting her out of its grip when Alkibiades was blinking himself awake with the help of the antidote.

He was alive. He was alive. Pale, but alive, and staring at her with something… unnameable, something that made that flame inside her flare up fiercer than ever before.

Suddenly, she was so very, very sure that she could not stay. That she could not stand to be near him another second, that if she did, something very ridiculous, like Kassandra declaring her everlasting love, would happen. 

So, she ran. She ran and ran and ran and ran. (She was quite good at that.) She only stopped running when it was dark, and cold, and Phobos was dragging in deep breaths, flanks glistening.

She was halfway between nowhere and nothing, her only company the blinking stars above her head and the ants making their way up her leg.

She heard him coming from far away, because of course she did, and of course he was wielding a torch, and she would have berated him about keeping himself safe if she hadn’t known the deadly power those muscles wielded for herself.

“Kassandra!” He sounded so genuinely delighted to see her that Kassandra couldn’t keep the smile from her face if she tried. So she didn’t, probably revealing more of herself than she should, considering the softening in Alkibiades’ eyes. “You’re… very good at running.”

“Think I could won a wreath there too?”

His grin was crooked as he swung himself from his horse, depositing himself gingerly on the earth next to Kassandra. “Undoubtedly.”

“Didn’t think you were the type to go for long, evening walks.”

“I’m not.” His tone was flat, one eyebrow raised as he looked over at her. “You’re so good at running, my dear, that I didn’t even have a chance to thank you for saving my life.”

Kassandra’s chest panged with the casual endearment. “I was just… doing my job.” Yes, keep it impersonal. She had had some good times with him, but that was all. It was nothing more. It could not be anything more.

“Oh?” He leaned closer, warm shoulder brushing hers. “Is that all, then? No affection for my golden self?”

Kassandra barely swallowed down a hysterical giggle, staring into the torch he was still carrying to keep from looking at Alkibiades. “Oh, Alkibiades, please. As if you don’t know everyone around you is at least a little bit in love with you. You give them no other choice.”

“Are you?”

“...I’m part of everyone, aren’t I?”

“Oh, but you’re not everyone at  _ all _ , dear Kassandra, not even a little bit.” There was a hand on her chin, turning her to look into Alkibiades’ eyes.

The hope hovering around Kassandra's throat was almost painful, tightening and constricting so that it was only with some, considerable effort, that she managed to speak with a normal voice, even throwing in an exasperated eyeroll. "There's no need to use flattery on me, Alkibiades."

"Flattery?" Alkibiades lifted a hand to his chest, lifting his eyebrows in an affronted manner. "My dear, you are not unaware of your unique attractiveness. Why ever would I need to flatter you if I need merely speak the truth."

And, really, Kassandra should have just let him be. She should have just laughed it off, said something mildly boastful, and let it be.

But it had been a long day, and her filter was all but shot, and her throat was  _ still  _ hurting, still constricted and choked up, still sending a shockwave of stabbing pain through her body.

And she couldn't leave well enough alone.

"Sometimes, I wish you would lie to me." Her voice was soft, barely a whisper, but still perfectly audible, given the silence of the night.

"What--"

"Shhh."

He hesitated for a moment, mouth half open, wanting to speak, but after a few seconds of eye contact, he closed his mouth and nodded.

Good. This will be easier if he didn't interrupt. Fast and painful, but then over and done. Like popping a dislocated shoulder back into place.

"I want you to lie to me." Kassandra swallowed harshly, preparing herself for the truth she was about to lay bare. "I want you to lie to me, and tell me I'm special. I want you to lie to me, and tell me you dream of me, that you don't only see the Misthios, the Eagle Bearer, but that you see  _ me _ ." Her voice broke on the word, and, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alkibiades make an aborted movement towards her. She didn't know whether it hurt more or less, watching him shy away from touching her.

"I want you to lie to me, and tell me that I'm special, and that everyone else is just a distraction and that, that you, love me." Her voice was so quiet towards the end, so quiet she could barely hear herself, but the soft hand on her back informed that, of course, he had heard.

"I love you, Kassandra."

Kassandra was pretty sure a piece of her heart broke of permanently and buried itself in the soil there. It was everything she never allowed herself to want, handed to her on a silver platter wrapped in lies. It was beautiful, and wonderful, and empty.

"Thank you. That was generous."

It was silent between the two of them for a few moments, the only sounds being Phobos chewing some grass a few feet away and the muted crackling of the torch. When Kassandra turned to face Alkibiades again, there was a lost, searching kind of look on his face.

She knew he had been lying, knew that he had only said any of that because she had asked, but it still hurt to see it confirmed. She let out a dry chuckle, shaking his hand off her back as she stood up to shake out her shoulders.

"I've rested long enough. I've got boars to slay and people to seduce." She knew the crooked smile she threw wasn't quite as carefree as she would've liked, but that moment she didn't much care. Her heart was drumming 'out, out, out' and, for once, all she wanted was to obey.

She walked away slowly, hand knotted in Phobos' reins.

Alkibiades didn't follow.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of feelings about Kassandra while playing the game and I miss her so much I'm probably gonna do a replay soon. This isn't exactly unrequited love, not really, but I was adding the tags on my phone and I couldn't figure out how to add self-created tags. I'm only smart sometimes. Also, Alkibiades has stolen my heart. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Twitter: [booksandtea15](https://twitter.com/googlyeyes1507)


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